april poem #16: sometimes

Sometimes you close windows to mosquitoes,
Sometimes to shut out traffic,
Tonight shut the windows,
Because there's too much stardust in the air.

Sometimes you draw the curtains,
Or the shameless full moon will peek in,
And poke about the bedroom all night,
Throwing light on your secrets.
Tonight pull the blinds,
You don't want any more demons,
Escaping the room.

Sometimes you close your eyes in prayer,
As you've been taught, taught to ask for forgiveness,
Give thanks, and generally be grateful.
Tonight close your eyes or someone might see,
There's no more faith left, and there's only salt,
Because you turned to look.

april poem #15: syllable count

O Hiroshima,
It rained acid that night -
I loved you then.

april poem #14: WHAT IF...

what if my love were not gold,
but just humble copper,
would you think it less worthy?
copper pennies don't matter much,
they weigh down wallets,
dropped carelessly in tip jars,
rounded off in calculations,
why do we have them at all?

if you found me in a back pocket
of your not so favorite trousers,
snagged by a low branch, 
when you stood under tree
because it was raining,
would you rescue me or would you
let me roll down to the roots,
and sink into cracks in the pavement?


  

april poem #13: chemistry

vildagliptin 50
glycomet gp 1
zolpidem
eszopiclone 1mg
ramelteon
zaleplon
doxepine
benzodiazepine
desyrel
triazolam
temazepam
amaryl 1
cetrazine
1/2 bottle of water.
this cocktail is called,
the last sleep

april poem 12: mirror

mirror, mirror on the wall,
sniggers brazenly at me,
i’m shopping at the mall.

mirror, mirror on the wall,
my wallet’s fat too, don't laugh,
call me ‘madame’, maybe ‘doll’!

mirror, mirror on the wall,
my weight is actually perfect,
if only i were six foot tall.

mirror, mirror on the wall,
my oakleys on, “it fits!”
i say to the girl in the hall.

mirror, mirror on the wall,
i’m not mutton dressed as lamb,
wipe that expression, what gall!

mirror, mirror on the wall,
a martini is fixed,
you take the call,
is this a villanelle at all?

April Poem # 11: moonless nights

when left forgotten in the pantry,
the lost jar of honey
collects shadows inside,
and cobwebs outside.
the night is just as viscous,
and threatens to overflow
into my unhappy bedroom,
will the lattice of green vines
clinging to an old dying tree,
turn me invisible in its shelter,
or will the honeyed darkness 
swallow me whole as it did,
the unsuspecting moon?

April Poem # 10: pinwheel

a mad riot of color,
going round and round,
when held up to breeze,
happy, happy, so happy,
as you tear around the beach,
sand in your hair and toes.
but deep inside you know
it's a simple, sad symbol 
for a life going nowhere.

April Poem #9: coverage

remember how it took
one person to hold the ladder?
another to climb up to the roof?
third on the outside looking in?
fourth to yell directions, 'left!'
'right! not that much right! left!'
'yes!', 'no, no!', 'hold it!', 'perfect!'?

and the moire would turn into
perfect coverage of hum log,
flash gordon and telematches?
where is the antenna to help fix
the picture of a life 
that has lost vertical hold?

April Poem #8: darning

wear those glasses
steady those hands
the needle is fine
the thread is finer
remember to grit teeth
when the heart bleeds.
you're trying to darn 
the barely together fabric
of your life.

April poem #7: rainbows are overrated

sobbed.
sobbed.
sobbed.
sobbed.
sobbed.
sobbed.
sobbed.
and sobbed
some more.
sobbed until
eyelashes
were washed
away.
the promise
of rainbows
is false. really.

April poem 6: so many distractions

dear blue one,

I ask for you and you laugh.
you laugh some more and send 
orange flavored dark chocolate, pho, pithale, zhunka, movies, 
beef teriyaki, cha siu bao, cheesecake, achaar, movies, 
leafless trees, new leaves on trees, rhododendrons, movies, 
golden champak, tiger lillies, aurum lillies, irises, movies, 
van gogh, klimt, miro, kahlo, rodin, philppe starck, movies, 
larkspurs, blue lotuses, cherry blossoms, dandelions, movies, 
tiny kingfishers, sparrows, lovebirds, eagles in flight, movies, 
laugh lines, eyelashes, tears, snuggling, warm legs, movies,
whatsapp jokes, found poems, swallows, perfect toast, movies,
silly shaped clouds, monsters under my bed, shadows,movies,
sudoku, haiku, maple leaves in the fall, durga puja dhak, movies,
iskcon chants, shambho chants, avalokiteshwara chants, movies,
pinwheels, 99 red balloons, floating lanterns, silk kimonos, movies,
bamboo fountains, tatami houses, kintsukuroi pottery, movies,
shakespeare, tse, yeats, blake, basho, keats, matsuo, movies,
buttons, glitter, unused lipsticks, high heels, bracelets, movies,
dappled afternoons, light rains, craggy mountains, waterfalls, movies.
fountain pens, pretty notebooks, inks, crisp linen kurtas, movies,
sarcasm, giggles, self-deprecating jokes, smiles, winks, movies,
agni, memories of prakrit, makkhansingh...
i am distracted plenty. but i'm stubborn.
you know that, don't you?



  

april poems #5: Look

blue jacaranda

flowering,

despite the concrete.

little yellow butterflies

fluttering,

on the median in traffic.

man holding sign,

of love

under noonday sun.

whenever i want to stop breathing,

there’s a soft, nudge.

drop the knife and open your eyes.

April Poem 4: Water

i need water,

this summer has started too early,

i need water,

my soul feels parched,

i need water,

my skin feels thirsty,

i need water,

my tear ducts are dry too,

i need water,

to wash all my yesterdays away.

April 3: Poem: I want, I want

i want to write about children,

tearing around in the wind,

chasing red kites and pink balloons.

i want to be forwarding videos,

of pandas and cats and puppies,

prancing and dancing slo-motion.

i want to be happy for your photos,

against foreign skies, on beaches,

playing happy families and friends.

i want to smile more, dance again,

sing louder, breathe easier, and more,

let me learn to love myself first.

April 2 Poem: DEGCHI

my degchi feels empty right now,

i have used the last of the bread slices

to wipe the leftover masala clean,

there’s nothing, nothing left to give,

years have tarnished the once shiny outside,

it’s time i scrubbed it clean, outside and in,

the stains are so tough, cracks will show.

they say good cooks don’t use chemicals to scour

their degchis, it takes away years of skill,

and love poured into the dishes cooked,

each dish a living, breathing experience,

built on what went before,

when do they know it’s time to hang it up?

i look at own old, greying crock pot,

holding it under cold running water,

feeling the cracks made by heated

arguments and unsavory relationships,

how long will it last? how long will i?

april is poetry writing month. poem #1

when you fail at crossword

fail at sudoku

you put the pen down.

what do you give up

when you fail at relationships?