wishlist

i’m like windows 8,

boxes of essentials,

bundled upon purchase,

safe, dependable,

available one click away,

predictable, boring.

what i’d give

to be the app you purchased

the one you chose to download

and hid under a different name.

the secret on your smartphone

the ‘it’s nothing’ when people ask

‘what beeped?’

the DM you ought to erase but can’t,

the conversation that makes you smile

the picture in an album innocuously marked ‘food’

the burning need instead of a habit...

but the wish app costs $9.99

and my credit doesn’t go that far.

role reversal

hands behind my head,

feet crossed at my ankles

i will watch football

and answer all your questions

with my eyebrows.

you will not take a hint

but snuggle right beside me

and murmur some nonsense

into my ear, kiss it

and assume i want more

because i will turn my head away.

you comfort me, calm me,

i like the stillness inside you,

your wandering hands

are a tad annoying

but I will let you explore

nevertheless. can’t you see,

you are my escape,

you are my haven,

and i just want to rest.

would you?

if you knew the secret to my loving

would you stop and watch the show?

i could flick my hair with the back of my hand

and look sideways at you,

just like those eternally breathy girl-women

men find so attractive.

i could preen for you,

looking deeply into my reflection

on the window, straightening

a pleat or two on my dress,

knowing you’re watching.

i could pretend sophistication,

sighing into murakami as you watch tv.

i could melt languidly into the bed,

hair carefully lifted away from the spot

on my neck where you like to kiss,

but you pretend you don’t see.

and when you think I’m not looking,

would you reward me with your smile?

would you taste the confessions of love

from my mouth with your lips?

when i scramble to unentangle

from your curling long hair,

the meaning of the notes

you’re playing on the guitar,

would you hold me so i don’t fall

any harder than i have already

into this green jello ocean of love?